The Facebook Matrix
It took me a LONGGGGG time to (re) join Facebook (FB). The first time around I was making the transition from MySpace (remember that) and found the whole concept intriguing. After a short period, I didn’t find it as fun or useful so I deleted my page. I told myself that my real friends still made time to pick up the phone OR at least send a text message to check on me. They still sent pictures via snail mail and made time to connect — if only every couple of months. I wasn’t sold on the idea of the “innocence” of FB. I thought of it more along the lines of people showcasing how fabulously wonderful their lives were — endless pictures of themselves, family vacations, new articles of whatever etc. I wasn’t too sure about 1k plus people knowing that I am away on family vacation and our home is empty or that I just bought a new car. I just didn’t get it.
But life happens and I found myself in a temporary predicament with limited external social interaction — FB to the rescue! This time around seemed so much more fun; it was the typical “everyone else is doing it.” I found myself reconnecting — as many of us do on FB — with people I hadn’t spoken to in years. I love(d) the updates, jokes, inspirational quotes, moments of sincere sharing and encouragement! It was great! I told myself I would limit my page to only a few intimate friends and some exceptions for associates who I am quite fond of. I said I wouldn’t get excessive about posting pictures; I wouldn’t spend hours rummaging through people’s pages; I wouldn’t … blah, blah, blah.
Fast forward some 7 or 8 months later and I find myself in the Facebook Matrix! Checking posts and updates between meetings and during breaks throughout the day. Reading endless posts about things I really don’t care about. Indulging in mindless debates via FB! Accepting requests, only to block people for realization that I really don’t want them looking at my 5 pictures anyway! Or that we never really spoke in high school, college or wherever I knew them from and I don’t think we’d start now. Last week I realized I was caught in the FB Matrix! So what did I do … I am glad you asked :—).
I am making an attempt to regain control. I have made it a point to only check a couple times a day looking at my inbox, personal update log and the 1 or 2 current posts. I posted much less last week (except via Twitter) and am proud of that. I realized that, not only was I keeping caught up in posting minuscule details of my own life, but I’d somehow become in tangled in the minute details of others’ lives. And for what?
I still enjoy FB and don’t have intentions of deleting my page. I still enjoy the warm moments of inspiration and positive affirmations/sharing. I love “seeing” my friends across the country and keeping in touch with distant relatives. But I have to keep it under control. I have seen too many relationships destroyed over FB. So often I am out with friends and they are so busy in the FB world that they can’t focus on the moment we have right before us. So I making an effort to step out of the matrix … have you? Can you? Will you?
Katrice
Such good points. At least once every 6 months or so, my status update is “This page reflects my real life.” That includes what I love, who I love, etc. If you did not like me before … in person, why do you like me and want to be friends on facebook? LOL It’s craziness. But, my fb activity has to reflect my real life or it’s too much.
S.T.Cherry
YES!!! It’s very interesting and I am always learning. This weekend I was talking with a friend who told me he goes on FB and waits for the “train wreck” in people’s lives. He was referring to the ups and downs – mainly in relationships – that play out. Once again, something to think about. Questions like why not celebrate? When its good, its good … so why not share? But also: what are your intentions??? I could go on for days … thanks for your support :-).
Jackie Holness
I love it…no plans to leave…lol…although I do need to decrease my time spent on FB:)
S.T.Cherry
I think that’s great. I love it too! However, I need to continue to make sure that I am living and enjoying my life in the real world not just the virtual ;-).
Melissa J.
Yes!! U said it all!! Because the hubs and I have very few friends, I found FB as a way to have more social interaction, enjoying the inspirational and encouraging words and also using it as a tool to stay updated with family and friends lives.
However, I have found myself in the FB matrix as well and have also cut back tremendously. I do enjoy the ppl like yourself and some others who really use FB as a tool to constantly inspire, inform, entertain, and/or market themselves. But I’ve also found FB to be a place for ppl to simply hear themselves talk, a place for attention seekers, and a place for ppl to just be downright nosey!! I have found myself looking thru pics for hours, hours of which could’ve been used for something productive. I’ve even found myself, at some points, feeling the need to be validated thru this FB matrix and that’s def not cool. And as u mentioned also, have had my head in my phone (on FB) so much often times that I miss the reality of what’s occurring around me.
So hats off to u for regaining control! Just keep the blogs coming!! 🙂
S.T.Cherry
Yes, yes, yes!!! I hear you Melissa! Definitely taking a step back … haven’t had the withdrawl I thought :-).