Is My Living in Vain?
On Saturday night I went to the movies to see 42. As I exited the theater I picked up my phone – 36 alerts. I switched over to text messages and saw a reply from an earlier message to a friend. The end of her message read “Zimmerman not guilty.” I asked, “On all counts?” She replied, “Yes.” Tears filled my eyes as I felt like my heart was being ripped out! I began reading posts on FB and IG … perhaps my biggest mistake.
I spent the remainder of the weekend trying to “get myself together” and perhaps make sense of why this case pierced my heart in this way. Perhaps because it’s the first time that something like this – highly charged, racially motivated , injustice prevailing – has happened while I have been on social media. I found myself both proud of being associated with some of my friends and angry that others seemed to go on as if nothing at all happened; inspired by many of the responses of empathy and sympathy and irritated by the insensitive and downright ignorant comments by others. Or perhaps it’s because things of this nature – racial profiling, police brutality, unjustified shootings – happen quite often. The nation rises up, people protest, media covers the events and subsequent reactions but after a month or two, life seems to go on as usual. So perhaps I was and am praying, hoping, longing for the momentum to remain; for people to remember and use this tragedy as the impetus for ongoing change. Or maybe it’s because I have been perceived as “taking life too seriously” or “demanding too much” from both my most intimate relationships and even peripheral social relationships, but this case reminded me of my passion – of my most innate longing to ALWAYS remain aware, engaged and active. This case and this verdict reminded me that I have a voice and that unless I use it, injustice, inequality, and discrimination prevail. This case reminded me that I have a purpose driven life that does not belong to me. This case reminded me that unless I am willing to live each and every day of my life in such a way that reaches out and beyond, all my anger, frustration, sadness and confusion are in vain.
What now: I have decided to step back a little from social media. I am finding it to be a bit much with random – and not so random – posts that appear to have not been well thought through from people I believe would never be able to back up their thoughts in a crowd of their peers. I am also doing a self-recheck; just making sure that my actions are intentional, my life is one of service and that I use this additional momentum to keep going. And finally I ask you: what are you doing? How do you live your life? Does your service extend beyond your household and immediate family? Do you remain abreast of current events and their correlation to historical occurrences? After your anger subsides, will your ongoing actions speak for your passion?
Writing truly is my therapy. I didn’t think I had the courage or enough sense of calm to write this post, but I am happy I pressed through. Thank you for reading.
BohemianGypsy
Ditto. Fully agree. I too, am in shocked, like the rest of the country. It’s a shame that the media (not surprise) would hide certain facts. I think any person young or old, if being followed by anyone, especially at night, would fear their life, but would fight for it if being attacked. I think, that none of this would’ve happened if Zimmerman would’ve followed the 911 operator’s advice. To me, this is not about race, it’s about the injustice that exists in this country. I am no one to judge any person, I’ll leave that to the almighty, but somethings are just plain evil and the justice system of this country is just that. There is a quote I always go by, whatever is done in the dark, will one day come to the light..and in this case, Zimmerman and Trayvon are the only two individuals who know exactly what went on that night. I can only imagine how extremely sad/painful for the T’s family all these maybe–but this parents are such great role models they are keeping it very calm and leaving it to G-d’s hands, justice will eventually be served in Trayvon’s name. Just my thoughts.
S.T.Cherry
Thank you for taking time to read and reply! This case breaks my heart and is a reminder that there is so much (more) work to do. Change starts within, right?
Jackie Holness
I totally…I mean totally agree…
S.T.Cherry
Thank you for reading and responding Jackie!
S.T.Cherry
For those who are curious and asking what could have made things more justified or generated a different response: if Zimmerman yielded to the advice of the 911 operator and halted pursuit of Martin; if the appropriate proceedings had been followed and Zimmerman was taken in for questioning immediately following the incident; if Zimmerman’s account of his attack had been matched with medical records to support his story; if additional facts about the accounts of that evening were consistent to the initial testimony provided; and if a young, unarmed man – of any race/ethnicity – had not loss his life. This is not JUST about race for me, it is about justice and following the proper proceedings in ANY case. If and when this occurs, I am much more obliged to respect the court’s decision(s).