The Prayer Process

When I was a child, my mom taught me to pray the “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray to the Lord my soul you keep …” prayer. I imagine that I didn’t learn the “Our Father’s Prayer” until much later in life, perhaps during my teenage years. From that time, I have prayed in an assortment of ways and sometimes not at all, including a very structured prayer like those from my childhood to random ramblings of thoughts to angry and confused “shoutings” to God to barely audible (to the human ear) mumblings through tears and pain. I’ve prayed in my bed (which I no longer do, mostly because I fall asleep), in my car, while sitting in meetings, in my office, and before class. I’ve found that my prayer process has represented where I am in life and where I believe God stands in relation to that that positioning.

Earlier this year and really on a whim, I attended Ash Wednesday service. I am not Catholic, nor have I ever attended an Ash Wednesday mass, but I knew I wanted to be somewhere sacred on that day to commemorate the beginning of Lent. The mass was the only service being hosted on campus that I knew of so I went. Not only did I enjoy the service immensely, but every guest was given a series of devotionals and other further reading resources. The Lenten devotional become one of my primary resources during Lent. I am reading another short book I received on the practice of silent prayer. But by far and large, Reclaiming Jesus by Matthew Kelly was the absolute best tangible resource I walked away with. Lent coincided with my own desire and quest to explore reclaiming my relationship with Christ. I had no idea what would happen or what the end of my exploration would bring, but I was committed to giving the trial my full commitment. Kelly’s book was more than I could have asked for: a perfect guide to recommitting to Christ, provided alongside practical tasks to aid in the process. One process Kelly details is the “prayer process.” The prayer process includes five steps, which I summarize below. Although I finished Kelly’s book over a month ago and Lent also ended close to three weeks ago, I continue with the prayer process. I have found it to be a daily humbling, gratitude, and submission practice. Will you give it a try?

1. Step One: Gratitude. So often I find myself harping on what went wrong or what I want or what I’d like to do. This step reminds me to simply stop and give thanks. Each night I kneel beside my bed (also recommended by Kelly) and begin my prayer time with an abundance of gratitude for all the seemingly simple and grand ways God has blessed me and my family, friends, colleagues, and anyone else I encountered, as well as remember, in that moment.
2. Step Two: Acknowledgement. In step two Kelly asks the reader to acknowledge two important things: ways in which we were versions of our best selves throughout our day, as well as ways in which we were not. This step has been particularly humbling for me. To be intentional each day about ways that I have not been compassionate or patient or considerate or caring or forgiving or loving … to do this each and every day has been an experience within itself. To admit that every single day I do something that I could have done with greater care has kept me both humble and striving. And likewise, to acknowledge the small things I do each day that do reflect versions of my best self are also reassuring and affirming of my personal growth and desire to please God.
3. Step Three: Significant moments. This step is often when the tears flow. During step three we are asked to think about moments throughout the day when we felt there was a message or lesson. This step has equipped me to see all the mighty ways God is present in my every day encounters and how these encounters present opportunities for me to continue to grow, to serve, and to be an example. But knowing that step three is a part of my nightly prayer process has also caused me to intentionally seek Christ in every moment of my day – I pause to look at a beautiful landscape a little longer, I contemplate interactions with others in hopes of seeking clarity, I am much more intentional about receiving clarity on exactly what happened during my day and what lessons are needed for the next day, week, month, year …
4. Step Four: Peace. In step four Kelly asks the reader to ask God for forgiveness for wrongs committed against others, as well as against Him. However, I have extended this step to an additional three-part process where I ask God for forgiveness for those of those who have wronged or offended me; extend forgiveness to those I have been wronged or offended by; and ask God to place forgiveness on the hearts of those I have offended. This extension is important to me because during Lent I realized how many people I hadn’t forgiven. I wasn’t necessarily upset with them, but I definitely was not in communication with them. One by one I started to name their names to ask God to help me forgive them, but to also ask for their forgiveness for any ways I’d distanced myself from them. Daily, I also ask for strength and humility to forgive others as Christ has forgiven us; and finally that at some point, when the time is right I am also forgiven by those I have offended.
5. Step Five: Freedom. In step five we are asked to request that God provide clarity on how He wants us to change our lives. During this step I give God thanks for equipping me to freely walk in my faith, to do so without shame, and to recommit to Christ every day regardless of the cost. I have found this step both courageous and liberating.
6. Step Six: Others. During step six we are asked to pray for others. What a joy to set aside time each and every day to pray for another. I have enjoyed this process especially during this season of incredible favor as I acknowledge that it is during these times that I shouldn’t sit back and gloat in God’s blessings in my life, but use what God has blessed me with to be a blessing to others. Likewise, it is – once again – humbling to use a part of my devotion time to focus on others: their needs, their healing, their desires, their struggles, their blessings, their triumphs. Thank you God!
7. Step Seven: Our Father’s Prayer. And finally, Kelly requests that we close by reciting Our Father’s Prayer. What a way to seal such a powerful process … that at the end of everything I have said, asked, proclaimed, declared, I simply say to God that His will be done on earth as it is in Heaven; acknowledge that God will make provisions for this day and this day alone, but I have no reason to fear; that I can and willingly plead for forgiveness from God and toward others; and that I pray daily for covering from temptation.

Such a powerful process! Such a joy to participation … such food for my soul. Thank you God