Style Series Part I: #WearMySh?! – My Exploration into Fashion and Style

This week kicks off the start to a new academic year. If you’ve been following my journey – here, on my blog, as well as on social media – you know that I am starting the semester in a new body. Literally. While this is extremely exciting – and I am grateful – the shift has also meant I needed to update my entire wardrobe, with very few exceptions. And although I have found a new level of joy in shopping – I have NEVER in my adult life known what it feels like to walk in any store and be able to find something I like, that comfortably fits and that I feel great in (I am almost 5’8″ and wear a size 10 – 11 in shoes; after grade school I have always been on the average to overweight side of the U.S. metric) – I have learned a few new things about myself.

I love special occasions and I am frugal with my coins. I knew these things already. I love celebrating. Birthdays. Weddings. Graduations. Give me a reason to celebrate and I am there! And as a single-income household, I watch my coins carefully. This means I do very few things randomly, including shopping. Typically, I shop for major events, changes in the seasons or to support a brand. This not only helps with budgeting, but it means I get good wear out of most of my clothes.

SO imagine my dismay when it was time to begin sorting through my wardrobe and I had not one, not two, but nearly a dozen items I’d only worn once or twice, no more than three times. And these were for real, for real investments for me so not things I wanted to easily take to my favorite, local consignment store or the Salvation Army. I was distraught! And disappointed!

Insert my new hashtag (perhaps, not new to the world but new to me): Wear My SH?! This means moving forward I am wearing all the things, all the time, to every event. Accessories. Shoes. “Special occasion” clothes. I am wearing it! Being alive is my new special occasion!

And with this assertion in mind alongside my endeavor to rebuild my wardrobe intentionally, I’ve become intrigued by the world of fashion and style. The new things I have been learning about myself are related to my journey of fashion discovery and style – my personal style.

I’ve been watching fashion and style-related videos from a number of Black, female content creators – this term is still very interesting to me – on YouTube, including Janee Naylor and Tashira Halyard. But someone who has really piqued my interest is Rocqelle Porch of Black Style Anecdotes. I’ve been listening to her podcast nonstop for the past few days and am incredibly inspired by her guests, as well as her freedom in styling. She asks a few standard questions of almost every guest and I have included some here – with my minor edits, in some cases – along with my responses.

What are some of your favorite style memories? It wasn’t until listening to this podcast that I recalled how meticulous my mom was – like, extremely detailed in the things she did, made, wore, and how she cared for our home. This included my weekly hair washing and very elaborate braiding. I do not remember one time in my childhood when my hair was not carefully done with not one strand out of place. She cared for and managed my hair until I was 12, when one of my aunts said something to the liking of my hair being difficult to manage during a summer visit to Brooklyn and I got my first relaxer. So, in hindsight, hair was always a thing for me. I don’t know that I have ever kept one style, cut or color for longer than two to three years. I’ve shaved all my hair off, as well as worn locs, extensions and everything in between. For some Black women, this is the norm. For me, it was an act of expressing myself. It is a part of my style.

Along with my hair, my mother dressed me for church – or commented on what I was wearing [insert eye roll] – for a very long time. Growing up in the rural south and attending a very conservative church meant wearing knee-length or longer dresses and skirts, slips – even though I had absolutely NOTHING to cover at that age – and stockings. It also meant beautiful hair bows and ruffled socks and itchy dresses during special times of the year. Again, my mom took such great care in dressing me and making sure I was  always what she deemed – and perhaps society  – as presentable.

Not until listening to Rochelle’s podcast did I reflect on the influence of the Black church on my own leanings related to style. I STILL value a quality set of shapewear, for EVERY woman regardless of size or athleticism. I grew up seeing adorned hats and bedazzled shoes, as well as suits, as an idea of Sunday’s best. These observations helped me define my versions of tiered dressing for an occasion.

Then, I had cousins from Brooklyn and Philadelphia who came “down south” every summer wearing clothes, shoes and hairstyles that were incredibly foreign to my small, rural hometown. Once I began spending summers with them in their respective cities, they generously took me shopping and gifted me some of their gently worn clothes. I do believe these experiences, along with being an only child – which meant I was always sort of doing my own thing with very few closely aligned examples to follow or mimic – fostered my desire to stand out. Move to the beat of my own drum. NOT follow the crowd … or the trend. Any trend.

I had my first clothing retail job while in undergrad. I worked at Macy’s and I was assigned to the men’s Polo section. Not only did this allow me to experiment with creative ways to wear men’s clothes – especially button-ups – but to work with clientele who valued quality items AND to use my store discount to begin building my wardrobe. My second retail job was at Ann Taylor – once again, a different clientele, quality clothes and more exposure to what it meant to invest in staple pieces that were – at that time – created to last.

And finally, attending undergrad in the Black College Mecca of the U.S.: the Atlanta University Center, living in West Africa for two years and having access to a tailor on a regular bases, and working in professional leadership roles at a very young age have heavily impacted my style choices, as well as created a generous collective style memory.

Have you always been interested in fashion or style? Yes and no. Thanks to my mom, I have always wanted to look nice. Put together. No bonnets or pjs outside the home. No hair undone. It just wasn’t my thing and still isn’t. But we also had very modest resources so as I got older, I struggled with finding the balance between what I wanted to wear versus what was accessible to me. Once I was introduced to consignment and thrifting, I was even more challenged by finding things I liked versus things I could actually pair with something I owned or could purchase. As I aged and my body changed, I never fully settled in to having a bigger body at various phases throughout adulthood, which means I never found my places for those seasons: where could I find fashionable, plus-sized clothing that I felt amazing wearing? Instead I made due – even when months became years – and never took the time to redefine what style and fashion meant to, as well as for, me.

BUT I believe I have always tried. When I look back at photos from high school and beyond, I see shoes that were slightly – or sometimes, majorly – different. I see accessories that helped me feel bold. I see bright patterns and colors. I see extremely feminine cuts and pairings that reminded me of how I define and appreciate womanhood. And I see a hairstyle that matches that particular season of my life. I have my mother’s eye for details so again this translates to how I have worn and styled my clothes. A tailored look. Feminine. Intentional, with a touch of modest or overt details. I think a desire to be more fashionable in my own way has always been there but a bit disjointed.

How would I define my style? I LOVE bold prints and colors – think traditional West African prints. I also love tailored looks and feminine details: pussy cat bows, a pencil skirt, slim fitting pants, blazers – oversized or fitted – and unique, yet comfortable and practical, shoes. And I also like quirky details – think early 2000s Anthropologie. A random button or unexpected zipper. Mismatched patters on one shirt or sweater. And finally, as mentioned in reference to shoes, my clothes have to be practical. By virtue of my career, health and desire, I canNOT wear clothes or shoes I can’t move in. I refuse to buy for the look over the utility – which I have done before – of an item. Feminine. Chic. Bold.

What are some brands I frequent? One of my absolute favorite things to do is shop consignment! Buying gently used clothes aligns with my values related to environmental conservation and avoiding overconsumption, as well as excessiveness. I don’t have much patience for thrifting and know the quality can be hit or miss, but I’d like to re-explore this option as well. If I can’t find anything at my local consignment shop, Julie’s Boutique is one of my favorite places for affordable and slightly trendy, clothes. A couple hours away from my home is Nashona Boutique, if I am looking for print items, as well as beautiful and unique accessories, from Tanzania. And finally, I do love Banana Republic. If I am looking for a staple and want great quality, this is my go to. I don’t do much online shopping for clothes as I love to try things on and see how I feel in the item but I am committed to supporting more Black owned brands so absent of a pop-up shop, I foresee more online purchases in my future. I also want to get into visiting local boutiques and consignment, as well as thrift shops, when I travel. For shoes, as well as comfort and style: Clark’s and Kork’s; New Balance; especially for exercise; and Puma are some of my favorites.

What TV shows or movies influence(d) your understanding of or interest in fashion and style? I remember watching Punky Brewster and Blossom as a child. While I am sure some of this was due to lack of representation and options on network TV, I know I also was drawn to the quirkiness of the main characters. They were different. Doing their own thing. That resonated with me. Then, there was Denise on The Cosby Show and later, A Different World. I love(d) the character for many of the same reasons I was drawn to Blossom and Punky Brewster. After Peace Corps and during grad school, I was a late-comer to Sex and the City. My favorite character is still Carry Bradshaw. Even as I watch reruns today, I would wear many – if not most – of the things her character wore, accessories and all. Other honorable mentions include The Devil Wears Prada, She’s Gotta Have It, the series, and Emily in Paris.

Who are you other celebrity style crushes? Tracee Ellis Ross, Solange, Kelly Roland, Meghan Markle, Victoria Beckham, Andre 3000 and Lenny Kravitz.

Real-life fashion inspiration? I am grateful to know a few people in real life whose fashion and style inspire me. Shantel “Denny” Jackson of Flora Louise Vintage; Emika Porter or MikSoChic on IG; Ayanna Robinson – AyannaInFullBloom on IG – Founder of the Black Girls Breast Feeding Club; Kidada Wilson-Hearon of Exodus Unlimited; and Tiffany Reid, owner of Tiffany Rene Interior Design. The front runners for men’s fashion are Carnie Bernard Horton, owner of Canary 48 and Dr. Wilson Okello.

Final thoughts? I am excited about this new hobby. Some of you know I turned 45 this summer. It tickles me that at this age I continue to find new, non-work related hobbies and endeavors. I’ve had so much fun venturing into the world of fashion and style via social media. And I look forward to sharing more of my journey to #WearMySh?!

Until next time,

XO – Sabrina