In my last blog post, I shared how much fun I have been having with clothes, learning about fashion, as well as style, and identifying some of my key style influences. In this post and what I am now transitioning to a series, I want to go deeper on some of the things I mentioned. This one is dedicated to my mom.
I have given a shout out to Rocquelle of Black Style Anecdotes and want to do so again here as I’ve thoroughly enjoyed the Black Style Anecdote podcast! Each episode has awakened a new way of understanding the impact of fashion, but also avenues for expressing oneself via style. And although a few guests have mentioned the influence their fathers had on their style – more on this later – the overwhelming majority have talked about how their mothers affected their style. This acknowledgement has helped me realize how many aspects of my mother’s care for me were taken for granted and also significantly shaped the way I view style.
While some of my family members and friends had to share in their parents’ affection with other siblings, this was never a concern for me as an only child. My mom and dad loved on me to no end, including my day to day care. Every Saturday as far as I can remember and up until around the age of 12, my mom carefully washed and meticulously braided my hair. When I say meticulous, I mean she made sure every single part was extremely straight, and all the design details were carefully organized. Sometimes she added beads, other times barrettes. On very few occasions did I get a quick, pre-church ponytail because of some disruption in our schedule. For special occasions, she sent me to my grand-aunt’s house to get my hair straightened. I then returned home for a similar ritual of hair-parting and beautiful ponytails.
Photo by Leighann Blackwood on Unsplash
This same care was put into my clothes. Although my mom was never a fan of ironing, I do not remember ever leaving the house with wrinkled clothes or an uncoordinated look. When I revisit pictures from my childhood, not only was my hair carefully done but sometimes she added necklaces, frilly socks or stockings to help accessorize my outfits.
As an adult, I now see how this level of detail led to me also paying close attention to how I present myself. I was never overly “done up” – my mom also wore minimal make-up, even to this day – or accessorized, but I was and am never frumpy, careless, or inattentive in my presentation. I take great care in the details – in all things. And likewise, I appreciate the person who goes the extra mile. Skin care. Carefully coordinated clothing items. Hair cared for. Nails and toenails – you too, men 😊 – given an extra dose of love. I credit this to my mom.
While I am challenging myself to level up my attention to fashion and style, I am also grateful for my starting point. I am grateful to have been cared for with such love. I am grateful for a foundation that reminded me simplicity works. It doesn’t take much. Presentation does matter. I appreciate my mom for loving me in such a way that she wanted me to always look and feel my best, particularly during my pre-teen years.
And again, while listening to Black Style Anecdotes, I know I am not alone. There are scores of Black mothers who loved on and love on their daughters in ways that help them feel beautiful, cared for, adored, appreciated, VALUED. So, I end this post thanking not only my mom, but every Black momma out there who has, is or will remind their Black daughters that they matter. Take up space. Make a statement. Be bold. Be you. Show up. Show off, should you desire. You ARE loved. You ARE light. To my momma and Black mommas everywhere, I love you. I see you. I appreciate you. Thanks momma!
Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash