I remember starting my first full time job. I wanted to dress the part. I wanted to fit in. I wanted my colleagues to take me seriously.
I was young. I am Black. I felt the need to acquiesce.
Fortunately, I was working part time at Ann Taylor. Moving to Las Vegas after graduate school was exciting, but it was also isolating. I was in a new city, in a completely different part of the country with no immediate family or familiar friends within a few hours. While I’d spent two years living in West Africa just a year and a half prior, my relocation to Las Vegas felt different. Additionally, I’d gone from being an exhausted graduate student burning the candle at both ends to having what seemed like an endless amount of free time. My part time gig at the mall served two purposes. It helped fill my evenings and weekends, while simultaneously giving me access to a store discount that assisted in building my professional wardrobe.
But being young, female and Black in the workplace is a tricky thing.
Perhaps, no matter what I wore, my kindness would be mistaken for flirting. It is possible that no amount of or organization with clothing would diminish the prejudices I encountered in the workplace. Maybe it didn’t matter how I dressed because some would always question how I landed the position, continuously challenge what I brought to the table, and make every effort to undermine my decision making.
My first big girl gig and so many that followed significantly shaped not only what I wore, but how I chose to style my clothes, with a hyperfocus on how I would be perceived and what my clothing said about my capacity to perform well in the workplace.
These days – especially since starting this style challenge – I take more liberty in what I consider to be professional workwear. Of course, the work environment has shifted significantly over the last twenty years. This does help. But so does my confidence. So do the decades I’ve spent working in one capacity or another. So does my experience. And so does my ability to release any need or desire to prove to others that I belong. I deserve respect. I earned my space.
I let it all go. And with this came an immense freedom to be me in and outside the workplace.
Yes, I do still consider what I am wearing to work. But these considerations are more so along the lines of what is comfortable. What makes or helps me feel good on any given day? What is functional? What is VIBRANT?
I am giving less f&*s to what is acceptable … the norm for my workplace … or helping others feel more comfortable with and about me.
Leaning into curating my personal style in this season is unfolding as the gift that keeps giving. For these and so many other blessings, I AM grateful.