The Gift

I CANNOT believe it is May already! Where has time gone? It seems unreal that I have been abroad for 3 and a half months. So much has happened! Sidebar: I find it both fascinating and frightening that more transformation can happen in my life in just 3 and a half months of semi-solitude and separation than through years in being in a familiar environment with familiar friends. Not only am I in shock that we are quickly approaching summer, but also that by the time I am back at my home for this semester, I will have just two months remaining – only a 3 weeks or so without any guests or additional travel. The time seems to have passed quickly, but I am grateful for every gift I have encountered.

I haven’t lived abroad since I was in my early 20s so it has been interesting to be away as an almost 40-year old woman. As I’ve stated in previous posts, Peace Corps was one of the most transformative experiences of my personal and professional life. It has been 16 years since I returned from service and I still talk about that experience as if it were yesterday. I believe the same will ring true for my time in the U.K. My 21 year old self living in West Africa was still very much trying to figure out who I was and what I wanted from life. I spent a lot of time in between learning a new culture and making new friends, just trying to know me. My 39 year old self is still figuring some things out, but with more confidence in my abilities, more clarify of my gifts, and more discernment about how to move forward. I do believe that my 6 months in the UK at 39 will be just as impactful – if not more so – as my 27 months in West Africa at 21. That is an amazing blessing!

I posted a blog about the art of stillness – which has been another unexpected gift of my time abroad. I can’t emphasize enough how nice it has been to embrace stillness and quietness. My mornings and evenings have intentional quiet time when my phone is on Do Not Disturb and I sit (or lay in bed), followed by devotion time, music, stretching, and sometimes writing. This time has become such a staple in my days that while on the road for the last few weeks, I found myself craving this routine. I realize – especially while hosting guests – that this practice can be challenging and is almost counter-intuitive in my usual environments at home. But I’ve found so much joy in this routine that my goal is to do all I can to sustain it, even when I am back in the U.S. and easing into my new normal.

I’ve also written briefly about my new physical activity routine. I walk a minimum of 4 miles every single day of the work week, with very few exceptions. What initially seemed impossible became one of the most enjoyable parts of my day. Not only was regular physical activity rejuvenating for me, but having this activity strategically at the beginning and end of my work day gave me a new sense of calm going in to and leaving work. My 45-minute strolls provided time to once again enjoy quiet moments of reflection or be inspired by a podcast or sermon. Although it’s warmer here now, I was initially taking these walks in 40 degree weather, which I would NEVER have done at home! This taught me that regardless of the season, I need time outdoors. Fortunately, I live in a part of the U.S. where it is very rare to experience temperatures below 40 and even if we do, it is never for too long. I have now been “trained” to brave the elements with an awareness that being outdoors fills me in more ways than I ever knew possible. I need it. My soul needs it. My body needs it. My mind needs it.

Another gift of my time here has been taking a long hard look at my work boundaries – or lack thereof. My career is such that there is always something to do. On most days, my work is never finished. There is always something to grade, or something to write, or something to plan, or something to revise. Through the years I have quickly begun to fill all my time with these “somethings”. Being here has allowed me to see that not only is this not necessary, it is not healthy. I have found ways to MAXIMIZE my work day by limiting random social media, texting, or web surfing breaks. My down time during the work day was replaced with socializing over a short walk in the park or meeting a colleague for coffee, but when I was in the office I worked. What an amazing difference this made! I was more productive. More intentional with my time. And I believe, more joyful in my work. I now check emails after normal business hours as an exception, not as a regular practice. I have taken the work email application off of my phone and can only check email through the web browser which limits my capabilities. With few exceptions, when I log out on Friday I do not check work email again until Monday. My days no longer start with email and when I am on my regular work schedule (i.e. not traveling or approaching a major deadline), I may not check email until mid-day after I have completed all other major tasks. And guess what? Every single email was answered. I have not missed one deadline. And I believe my productivity has increased, not decreased.

And finally, the GREATEST gift of my time here has been my renewed relationship with Christ. If I never encountered what it is like to slow down, enjoy life and embrace stillness; if I never recreated my physical activity routine and reaped the benefits of this practice; if I never restructured my work days and established some healthier boundaries I would STILL be greatly overjoyed by the impeccable gift of getting closer to God. I have been so overwhelmed by my renewal in Christ – what it has felt like to envelope myself in God’s word each day; to work with intention to be more Christ-like; to persevere through mini trials that test my faith and attempts to be better – do better; to yearn for the word of God and opportunities for worship; to surrender more of myself, my plans, my goals, my desires for my life each day as I wait on God to move; to proclaim God’s love and care for me withOUT shame; to allow God to do a new thing in my life; and to acknowledge that this is a new season in my life when old things are put away – regardless of the costs that come with this proclamation. Oh, what a joy! What freedom! What peace! What a blessing! So if nothing else, my semester abroad has given me a new life. For this I am eternally grateful and primed to serve.