Where Are All the Cool Kids?
I grew up hearing, believing and sometimes witnessing that women could be: attractive, but not smart; athletic, but not feminine; … Christian, but not cool. With this in mind, I crafted my life and spent a lot of time trying to prove to others (as well as to myself) that I didn’t have to choose so I ran in different circles: my cheerleading crew and my academic crew; my Fri-Sat night party crew and my Sun-Thurs study crew; my church crew and my “all other things” crew. You may see where this sort of approach to life can cause some conflicts, but for me it helped nurture a wider circle and allowed me to explore all of my interests without feeling limited or boxed in. But I now know this posed more significant challenges in terms of my faith walk and how I perceived women who were in the church. Let me pause and add a caveat that I mention often: I grew up in an extremely small town (less than 1,000 people) with many churches and a small population spread across those very churches. We didn’t have vibrant youth ministries or exciting Vacation Bible School. Church wasn’t perceived as the cool place to hang out.
The churches I attended were extremely traditional in nature and I often had trouble meeting role models who represented how I saw myself or who I wanted to become while in church.
Why weren’t the beautiful, successful women with fly clothes and fancy shoes in church? Why weren’t the attractive guys with muscles and swag at Bible Study? Why weren’t the popular boys and girls leading ministries? This is not to say there were NO people in the churches I attended who fit the aforementioned descriptions, but from my eyes they were few and far in between. So I resigned that the church was NOT where the cool kids were. Church was where people went to let their “fly” die as they committed to Christ. Once you gave your life to Christ, all the fun and the fly ceased to exist.
I encourage you to also keep in mind that this was before social media, before I moved to a major city, and before campus ministries blossomed to having an unavoidable presence on campuses, social media, and in the larger communities. This was before celebrities of all ages were publicly proclaiming their faith. This was before preachers and pastors quoted the latest hip hop songs and related scripture to popular culture, as well as to younger audiences. So I went to college on the fence about church, thereby on the fence about my faith, and in search of the cool kids.
On campus much of my reservations about church were perpetuated in some regard or another. I knew about the parties. I knew about rush and interest meetings. But I had to search a little deeper to find places for my faith to be strengthened. I was fortunate to meet people who were committed in their faith, many whom I would ultimately worship with. But the temptation and enticement of other activities had much more of a presence.
Although college ministries look much different than they did when I was in undergrad, I still think many young adults live their faith in silence. They don’t openly share their love of Christ or weekend activities that center on Christian fellowship. They may struggle to find like-minded peers, particularly on college campuses. Perhaps the lure for parties and celebrations is stronger than that for Bible Study and Christian fellowship. Perhaps many young adults – like I was at that time – are still looking for the cool kids. Perhaps they want to be one of the cool kids and that may not always equate to being a Christ-kid. Perhaps the struggles on young college students mirror what it can still be like as an adult in search of a Christian fellowship community.
As an almost 40 something woman, I am encouraged to do a little better and view my presentation (physical and spiritual) as its own sort of ministry. I despise hair salons – LOL – and often see money and time quickly going down the drain :-). I only know basic makeup techniques and can never keep up with the fashion trends. My exercise routine wavers, although it has been much more consistent since I have been abroad. But I’m encouraged to do better; not for purely vanity reasons but because perhaps this is my opportunity to be someone I needed and was looking for when I was younger. Perhaps this is my opportunity to reach a small audience and say women can be successful, beautiful (yes, I do believe I am :-)), concerned about their physical appearance, AND love Christ. I love all the social media pages highlighting Christians from all backgrounds living their faith out loud. I love that now being Christian has no limitation and no stereotypical look. I love how gospel music now appeals to a range of musical tastes, including jazz and reggae gospel. The representation of the church has expanded. My view of what a Christian, particularly Christian women, look like has grown by leaps and bounds. For my little circle – those who I come in contact with – may I also be an example. I’m encouraged to be a model that the cool kids (we are all “kids” in some regard :-)) do believe in Christ.