One Million Ways to Love

Last weekend I spent time with my favorite teenager. For those of you reading this who don’t know, this young lady is not my biological child – I don’t have any biological children. She is the niece of one of my closest friends … we’ll call her Gardenia. I babysat Gardenia while I was in graduate school and she was about three years old. We’ve kept in touch ever since. Although the frequency of our contact has shifted through the years, she has remained in my thoughts and ever-present in my prayers. Over the last few years, I’ve attended as many of her celebrations as I could, and now that she’s older, she’s visited me as often as she can. Sitting with her last weekend, watching animated movies, playing Jenga, going for a walk while she roller-skated, and even talking about some of the harder lessons of life, I was reminded of the millions of ways we get to give and receive love.

For a single woman without children, it can be tempting to feel lonely, as if dreams have been deferred or that my best days are somehow ahead. Ironically, I wrote a similar post last year because I seem to be surrounded by the thoughts and prayers of others for my next partner. While well-intentioned, these prayers and proclamations ignore the new-found delight I have in being content – and dare I say, joyful – in this season. I’ve wasted too many seasons ignoring the blessings before me because I was preoccupied with “if I only had (fill in the blank) life would be so much better”. If I only had a different job. If I only had a higher salary. If I only had a boyfriend. If only my boyfriend were my husband. If only we had a child. Can you relate to postponing your joy for the “if I only had” moments?

My time with Gardenia was heartwarming from start to finish. I am honestly honored that a teenager would forgo time with friends to hang out with me, and to do so during a season when we are limited in how we can physically connect with loved ones. But her presence reminded me of all the ways I experience love daily and I am grateful. There is a special little nine year old who holds a significant place in my life and heart. A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of spending time with a close friend I’ve known for 13 years as we celebrated my 41st birthday. One of my neighbor-friends turned 70 earlier this year and we regularly get together or just check in to share a few laughs. And this month, a year-long discipleship program with two younger women who are family and friends will come to an end. I am grateful for the relationships I have in this season of my life are fulfilling. They are enriching. They are life-giving. They are expansive and extensive, beyond geographical boundaries, age groups, race and ethnicity, and seasons of life. And during a time when I – and maybe you – can be tempted to relish in what-ifs, I’m reminded of the one million ways I get to give and receive love. I’m so glad about it!