I’ve written about my wellness journey through the decade-plus of blogging here. In these posts from Christmas Eve and then, a few days later I detailed my most recent health-related pursuits.
Although unintended, my recommitment to health and wellness blossomed into joy, adventure and pleasure in so many other areas, including venturing into the world of style and fashion. This new discovery led to, not only me intentionally seeking ways to learn about and be engulfed in communities of fashion and style, but also this blog series. AND it has also opened the door to me reflecting on how my wellness journey has impacted my approaches to fashion and style.
I wish I could say my body awareness and experimentation with diet culture started later in life. Unfortunately, it began in my early adolescent years as growth spurts and a physical leaning to my father’s body type (my dad was over six feet tall and extremely lean) versus my mother’s (barely over five feet tall and full-figured) was a frequent topic of discussion and critique. It continued later into my high school years as my itsy-bitsy cheerleading uniform made every physical insecurity that much more visible. And these experiences led to years and years of carefully monitoring my weight: gaining, losing, regaining and around again.
Although my weight fluctuated through the years, until my mid to late 30s, the changes weren’t as drastic.
However, life and HEAVY emotions were the impetus to MORE weight gain and LESS weight loss. More body insecurity and more body consciousness. MORE shopping frequently and a decreased ability to intentionally build a lasting wardrobe.
These changes also impacted what I had access to and how I felt about those options.
I remember shopping for trips and special events. Yes, I’d find clothes I could wear but only after often depressing and extended hours of shopping. I always landed with something that felt good to and for me, but it was rarely my first choice.
The beautiful, feminine prints or delicate, dainty cuts were not always accessible to me. So, I made do but was keenly aware and constantly reminded that the retailers I enjoyed most and had easy access to were not interested in or willing to invest in plus-size fashion.
YES, I know there are designers and retailers who specialize in plus-size fashion BUT it was not my personal desire to venture too far down this path as it was and is my longing to have my healthiest body for my type and liking.
Imagine my pure delight when I started shopping for returning to campus this fall and my experiences in the dressing room were no longer filled with doom and gloom but utter delight and excitement! Imagine how I felt when item after item not only fit but fit well and some were in sizes I have never worn. Imagine the glee when I now have more OPTIONS and have to practice restraint versus feeling like I had to accept what was left or available to me.
In this season, I take delight in and embrace the changes my body will continue to make as I age. I also embrace what it means to pursue intentional, holistic wellness and allow myself to see just how fit I can become along this beautiful voyage of aging. I celebrate ALL the ways these two realities can fuel joy, pleasure, laughter and fun in my life.
And so here we are, in this current chapter of my life, feeling stronger, faster, more fit than I have in years. Many years. And alongside this celebration of my health, I get to experience what it means to think intentionally about BUILDING a lasting wardrobe. One that – yes – leaves room for the ways my body will inevitably change BUT also choosing to see my entre into the world of fashion and style as inspiration to remain committed to my wellness journey. To embrace the joys of saying five years from now “I still have signature pieces I can and want to wear.” To buy clothing for my body today without fear of them not fitting a few months from now. To use fashion and style as yet another way to celebrate my commitment, recommitment and ever-increasing pursuit to be well, look well, feel well, DO well.
I share the contents of this post and so many others as love letters to you, my readers. This is not to glorify fat-shaming or diet culture. The intent is to share MY journey of body awareness, weight struggles, acceptance AND pursuit, particularly in this season, as they align with fashion and style explorations. Take what you need. Leave the rest. Thanks for continuing to support my blog!