The Dangers of Lurking

I remember the dates. They were grand. Plays at the theatre. Outdoor concerts. Short spa getaways. International travel. Dining out. Preparing meals at either of our homes. We’d created and honored our weekly date night with very few exceptions.

But there was one minor kink. We weren’t married. Not only were we not married, but I desperately wanted to be married. 

I’d checked all the boxes. Earn my undergraduate degree. Travel. Complete grad school. Secure a great job. Take big professional risks. Never settle. Done, done, and done. 

But someone forgot to mention: Enjoy every single day of your life and do not become preoccupied with what you want or think life should be. 

So every now and again I’d have an outburst. A flood of anger. And a deep, sinking feeling of despair. Sometimes I’d cry. Sometimes I’d scream. But more often than not I missed many beautiful moments because I was fixated on the fact that those moments did not include a marriage proposal. 

These days I try to live my life quite differently by fixing my eyes on something else. Something more withstanding. Something more fulfilling. Something more anchoring. 

I fix my eyes on Jesus. 

As cliché as this may sound – especially for #JesusFollowers – if we are honest, we know this is not always easy to do. Or to do consistently. We get distracted by the things we want. We lose focus because of what we see others doing. We become obsessed with our dreams, our desires, our hopes. And while I am a HUGE advocate for having dreams and plans and hopes, if we are not careful we can miss the beauty, and love, and JOY right in front of us. 

As recent as last month I found myself in a state of cloudiness. In my pursuit to write and publish more, to grow my platform, and engage with others, I lost sight of what I know is God’s call for my life. I started looking too intently at what others were doing, measuring my success by their achievements. 

I’d become the lurker I never wanted to be. The kind I know is a thief of joy. 

But I am so grateful I didn’t stay in that place too long. As opportunities were revealed in my life, my attention was snatched back into focus. And just like me, I also know God is doing something special in YOUR life. God’s plan for you is UNIQUE and PERSONAL. Don’t be distracted by what you see happening around you. Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. 

What an amazing gift we have in knowing that no one will do what we do. No one can reach who we have been gifted to reach. We have a special journey only we can follow. And there are many amazing and wonderful and pleasant things happening right in front of us, right now, even as we WAIT for our next seasons.
Be encouraged, my friend. Don’t get distracted. Trust God’s calling for your life. Honor your path. Celebrate others, but don’t forsake your lane. AND enjoy the journey – the present – as we rest in the hands of the faithful potter.

Here are a few things I am keeping my eyes fixed on (hyperlinks included – click on each item to learn more):

1. Our podcast went live just a week ago! I hope you’ll check it out, subscribe, and share.
2. I participated in an international webinar sponsored by UNAIDS and focused on faith and health – my heart work!
3. Last summer I listened to a podcast and read the corresponding book – Life Changer! My book review on this experience is now published.
4. For the last two months, I’ve written for a local paper. It is pure JOY to write creatively and for a wide range of audiences. You can read February’s post here.
5. I am a new content curator for Compassionate Christianity. I’ll be sharing updates as my content is uploaded.
6. In just a few weeks I am joining a panel of other Black women to discuss our professional experiences, as well as mentoring others.
7. Finally, I hosted my first giveaway last month – so much fun! I will do another giveaway the end of this month, but you must be on my newsletter mailing list to get details. You can do so by visiting my website and completing the pop-up contact form.

Yes, I did get a little distracted. But I have refocused my gaze. So, tell me: what are you fixing your eyes on this month and beyond?

Sabrina