CHOOSE Joy in Love

February is not only Black History Month, but the month for all things related to beautiful, and fulfilling, and enriching LOVE! It also happens to be my mother’s birthday month. And while I am all for the celebration of love, I find that we often limit the depth and diversity of how this love is expressed, who it is received from, as well as given to, and the beauty of its limitations. 

Two years ago I wrote a post entitled One Million Ways to Love. A slightly edited version of my piece was reposted by Women Faith & Story. The major premise of my entry is that there are a million ways to love … an unlimited number of places to receive this love from and limitless ways to give this love to others. 

Over the last three years in particular, I’ve grown fonder of the deep love and affection I share with my girlfriends. My closest friends are women and men I have known for over a decade. We’ve experienced multiple life changes together. We’ve witnessed one another at extreme lows and highs. We’ve loved, forgiven, given, received, celebrated, grown, and hit reset more times than I can recall. My life is better because of them. 

My family has always been and remains a staple in my life. I grew up with a huge extended family full of cousins, aunties, uncles, friends who became family, and so many more. Everyone was a cousin or aunt. I still hold my family near to my heart. I treasure the time I get to spend with them, especially my mom and one of my little cousins. I cannot imagine my life without them. 

Although my experiences with romantic love have been intentionally limited in the last few years, I still welcome this gift. I shared some of my experiences in a series of blog posts throughout the end of last year. I wrote about leaving room for the unexpected and my reflections on the year, including embracing joy, play and pleasure. For the first time in a long time, I felt my heart expanding. I imagined loving fully and wholly again. I caught a glimpse of the type of relationships a more healthy and confident me could attract. I remembered what it meant to crush on someone, to be giddy about seeing and spending time with them … to feel safe resting in their presence. I welcomed the prospect of romantic love. 

And I’ve found joy and gratitude in other forms of love, including caring for plants, having meaningful work I am committed to, my proximity to nature, and the ease of my life. The ways I experience love are ever-expanding. 

On this V-Day and every day thereafter, I invite you to love. Love fully. Love freely. Love abundantly. Love with your whole heart. Heal. Retreat. Mend. And then love again. 

Happy V-Day!